Dear Kenny,
by SuperDuperGir
Summary: 'I Miss you, I really wish you hadn't had to go, but I guess it's for the best. I still love you, you do know that.'  'Love, Leopold 'Butters' Stotch'   Butters writes a letter to a deceased Kenny, knowing he'll never get to read it. Bunny; Shonen - Ai.


_**Hey Guys! Uhm, this is just a short one - shot I wrote as an Epiphanies Submission at my school. I really like the plotline and may turn this into a Multi - chap Fic after I finish 'White Houses' I dunno, anyway, please enjoy. **_

_Dear Kenny,_

_You knew I was never really one for dating. I mean, don't get me wrong, I wanted to date someone. Anyone would do, really; I have a great taste in guys, but the thing is, great guys don't exactly have a taste in me. Except for, of course, you; but you didn't come around until later, so I don't count you. Anyway, I was really never one for dating, because no matter who I picked, nobody picked me. Nobody wanted 'Childish little Butters.' I hate that god - awful nickname; Butters, I'm not even sure how I ended up with it, to tell you the truth. That and my physical appearance, are what (I'm sure) kept people away. I was never an attractive individual, you knew that; I mean, I was never ugly, but I wasn't 'Sexy' either. I was, and still am, the shortest person in our year. I'm the only Junior who's 5' 4. Even all the girls are taller than I am. I was also never into what all the other boys were into, never into the hardcore metal bands, watching live boxing on television, or spending all my free time on Myspace or Facebook. I was different, and, according to the rest of the population, it was wrong. I was the innocent one, the one with the helicopter parents, who wouldn't even allow me to watch 'Spongebob' because it would harm my fragile little mind, yeah, sure; I was the kid with the short, uncontrollable blonde hair, and that was wrong, because apparently blonde hair is 'Girly'. I don't even understand that one, I mean, you had blonde hair, and you were one of the messiest boys when we were little. Nobody ever called you 'Girly'. Of course, a lot of people were afraid of you Kenny, I was. I admit it, from the time we were in the third grade, until we were in Ninth, I was terrified of you, Stan, Kyle, and Eric. Nobody really liked you guys at all until we entered High School, everyone thought you guys were jerks. I did. When your guys' popularity increased, I had a chance to sink further into the background; I didn't want to be seen, the taunting and teasing was too much, especially from your supposed 'Friend' Eric. He'd been doing that to me since third grade, I don't know why he hated me so much. Eric never seemed to like any of you guys, actually. I know he hated Kyle, that was obvious, but he seemed to hate you too. I don't know if he was even very fond of Stan. You guys just became powerful, as strange and imperialistic as that sounds, nobody wanted to mess with you guys, in fear for their (Social) lives. So, maybe, if you hadn't hung around those other guys you wouldn't have been so popular, or so mean to me all those years, but maybe if you hadn't been friends with them, things wouldn't have worked out for us the way they did. I remember Freshman year Kenny, the year that changed my life, thanks to you; They messed up the class lists from the year before and Freshmen year, and ended up putting all of the kids who were in Mr. Garrison's Science class the year prior into the same Biology class the next year, but you knew that; I remember when Mrs. Chavez said we needed to get into groups of three, she wanted us to do a poster on everything we learned the past year; Eric immediately chose Stan and Kyle, knowing that they were good students and he would get an A (Because they'd do all the work). Turns out, there weren't enough people for five groups of three, so we were the only group of two. Nobody wanted you, nobody wanted me._

_A friendship spawned from there._

_I remember Kenny, you were so nice to me, and we ended up partnering up on almost everything. You invited me over, and I invited you over. I remember it so vividly, as if it had happened yesterday. I liked playing GameSphere at your house and watching Family Guy at mine, when my parents were gone, of course; I liked going to the movies, and the video arcade, and getting to hang out with you, Stan, and Kyle. Eric refused to hang out with us, but I didn't care._

_Kenny, for once, in Freshman year, I was happy; That was the year I expected I'd end up killing myself, or being killed by my peers. I expected those people who never liked me anyway, to like me less. The last thing I expected was to be making friends, I stopped getting into trouble with my parents, they were proud of me for generating friendships; My grades improved, I took up basketball, got myself into decent shape, I was happy, and successful. Kenny, you saved me from myself;_

_Then, it happened. One day, you asked me to go out with you, on a date. A date - date. You wanted to take me to dinner. I accepted, knowing this may be one of my only chances at ever dating ANYTHING, and that dinner date ended up being a run to Taco - Bell and gazing at the stars over near Stark's pond. _

_From there it grew, Kenny, I thought I couldn't get happier when we were best friends, but I was wrong. When you took me out, when you proudly displayed me as your 'Boyfriend', when you kissed me for the first time, when you held me during scary movies; I could honestly list forever, but actually, this letter wasn't supposed to be about the past. I guess I'm just being Nostalgic. This letter was supposed to be about the future, ME in the future, on my own, without you Kenny._

_Kenny, I miss you so much. I wish you hadn't had to leave, I wanted to have a happy ending like everyone else. Stan and Wendy are together, Kyle is with Bridon, even Eric is dating Annie. Why is it me, I'd been given everything, and had it all taken away from me. I remember that night Kenny, I remember what I was doing, I was sitting at home, watching SNL. Do you know how I found out? A newscaster. A cold, uninterested, newscaster. I remember my program being interrupted by an 'Emergency Broadcast' being aired to everyone in the South Park/Orange County area, not to take Highway 35. There was a huge car pileup, six cars. I was shocked, but incredibly irritated that I couldn't finish watching __It's Pat._

_I remember the moment when I realized, the exact words of that newscaster have been burned into my mind;_

_"Five people in the vehicle, both adults, one of which was the driver of said vehicle, had a lethal alcohol level in their system's. Both adults were killed, and one of the three children in the car. The deceased include a, 'Stuart McCormick,' 'Carol McCormick', and a 'Kenneth McCormick.' Two other children, 'Kevin McCormick' and 'Karen McCormick' were injured but are going to be fine."_

_That paragraph, I've had it memorized for the past year, Since February 19th 2011. I have dreams, where I only hear those words repeated over and over. It's horrible Kenny. Do you know that, after the accident, Kevin and Karen stayed with the Broflovski's? Kevin graduated High School the year you died, he moved back into your old house, and Karen is living there with him too. He got himself a job, and is supporting both of them. Isn't that grand? Do you know that I left your Facebook page up? We're set to Married now... I know it's lame Kenny, but Kevin gave me your password. Did you know that I loved you? Kenny, I know that you can't read this, or maybe you can, I've never been to Heaven, but I want you to know, I love you. I knew I loved you when you first kissed me, and now I'm positive. I still have feelings for you, I still have the feeling I did when you first asked me out. The warm feeling in my heart. _

_Kenny, do you know what today is? It's December Sixth, 2012. It's our Three year anniversary Kenny. I still love you as much as the day you asked me out, as the day you proposed to me;_

_Five days before you died, you had 'Proposed' to me. It was silly, really, we'd been dating just over a year, but you gave me a metal promise ring - painted gold. I still wear it, even though the paint is wearing, even though it looks really stupid. You told me that when we were seventeen, we were going to drive to Connecticut and get married. At the time, I'd laughed at the thought; but now, I hold on to that. I'll never let go of those words. Whether or not you'd actually meant it, whether or not you'd still want that if you were alive today, it's all I have. That and a few pictures. I want you to know that Kevin gave me your orange hoodie. I wear it all the time, despite the fact that it's almost too small now, and it has holes and tears. I also want you to know that I kept all the little letters and notes you ever wrote me, even the little drawings of hearts and bunnies on stickies. I want you to know that I'll never, ever, forget you. I want you to know that even though I acted irritated, I always loved when you called me 'Leo'. It's so much better than 'Butters' or 'Leopold.'_

_Most importantly Kenny, I want you to know that I'm absolutely and positively in love with you, I always will be, and I'll never love another person as long as I live._

_Kenny McCormick, I love you._

_I just wanted you to know that._

_Much Love,_

_Leopold 'Butters' Stotch_

_**Didja cry? I did. **_

_**That's it, um, Mmkay, Later,**_

_**~Zim**  
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